Friday: Worked, of course. But then, after work had Mike pick me up and take me to the airport where I almost missed my plane but luckily got on and went um...wait...let me think, where did I go? OOO yea, we went to the play called "nunsense" in HMB. It was really good, I'd see it again if I could, Patti and Nicola were in it, who have been directing either dance or vocals in a few of Mills' musicals. But anyway, had fun there, got to see some people, played video games, went back to C's house with Bryan and Rick and listened to Rick try to sing from his diaphragm, it was quite entertaining. Then, I slept at C's...while she slept in her moms room, lol.

Saturday: Hmmm...its really hard for met o remember this far back. Ok, so Saturday weeee spent time together, which I really did enjoy, um. What else...I dont remember actually, but it was a good day. Well no, there was a little bit of arguing and tears, but we worked through it as usual and ended up going to Jen's house to sleep, that was fun, watched Harold and Kumar...kind of a sick movie, but saw deano, hes back in town. Slept in Jen's place for the first time, had a good night there *wink wink*

Sunday; Happy Easter! Woke up with everyone on Easter mornin and had to go back to C's house because I was invited to go to church with Rusc and C in the city. I had talked to my Dad and wanted to go to breakfast, but then decided I kinda wanted to go to church on Easter. There was one small dilemma tho. My Dad suggested I go meet up with Auntie Gina and my cousins at CPC and then hang out there afterwards, which of course, I would love to do, but things with that side of the family lately have been really um...whats the word? akward i suppose? I really just feel like they don't respect my friends or my decision to be who I am and things are kinda messy right now, plus things at my Dad's house are still really kinda messed up and there are a lot of feelings of anger and sadness and confusion, nothing has really healed yet I guess. But, after being honest with my Dad about that side of the family situation, he finally realized what I felt like in my position, because he's been in it as well with family matters, of course concerning other issues, but he said, he understood why I'd want to go with Ciara and that it's true that when two families come together, not everyone will be happy with your decisions but that you have to just tell them that this is what you are going to do. So, that really made my day, it made me feel so good inside, to have for the first time I think since forever be able to call my dad up, ask him his opinion, have a conversation, actually communicate and then, to top it off, he understood. It really did make my Easter that much better. So, after church, I ate some food, visited my dad for like 45 minutes which sucked cause I wanted to spend more time with him but he was obviously busy, and well, things are just still kinda rough, but, at least I saw him for a little while. Then me and C had to take the train to my mom's house, where we slept. lol.

Monday:So, Monday eh? Seems like I've been writing for centuries and I still have two whole days to tell you about. Well, Monday was a good day. I of course had to go to work, but in the morning me and C spent a little time together, just talking and spending good old fashion alone time, it felt nice, to not feel paranoid, or in a rush, or mad, I felt like we were really just being us. My mom surprisingly gave Ciara the keys to her car and said we could use it while Ciara was there because my mom could use her friends car, so we had transportation at any time of the day the whole 3 days which was yet again awesome. That day I got my paycheck and decided that I wanted to surprise C and take her to dinner whilst she didn't know I was paying for it. That felt weird I think. Cause for once, I was paying, and honestly, it felt so good to be able to say what do you want baby? and know that I'm paying for her, that she for once, she doesnt have to go to an ATM and get money out of her what seems to be bottomless account...lol. That was really a good dinner, I enjoyed it. We came home, decided to just get some rest while watching Shark Tale, which I didn't see cause I totally fell asleep right in the beginning, but we spent another good night together. I'll tell you something. Waking up in the person's arms who you love and adore is the best feeling ever. Even though I was tired as hell and we fought about me staying awake, I think it was an ok night...this whole working everyday thing is kinda tiring me out, and plus I haven't been keeping up with my work at all, which is due next Thursday, damn. Oh well, I'll do it.

Tuesday: Ahhh...Tuesday, what is so great about Tuesday you say? well, it is only great if you wake up with Ciara next to you, and when you open your eyes, shes looking right back at you with all of her focus right on you, because she loves you to pieces. That is what makes a Tuesday a great Tuesday ladies and gentlemen. So, Tuesday I had to go in to work early, which sucked, but we still spent some morning time together. I told C to come in at my lunch break so we can at least see each other for a little while and she always keeps me half sane while at work. Of course she did come in, we spent a short 20 minutes together, and when I got home, we planned out a night at the movies to go see Miss Congeniality 2. That was a good movie, not the greatest, but enjoyable. I think I was way more focused on my life ahead of me than the actual movie, but it was ok. Tuesday night...a whole different story. Let me tell you about Tuesday nights ok? Tuesday nights, mean that Weds morning is the day that C goes home, which means??? fighting. So, we fought, about a lot of different things, our relationship in general, it was said that our relationship isn't working, but don't worry, no relationship was ended, it was merely a mentioned fact. So, after thinking about it, crying about it, realizing that something needs to be done about it, I realized how much it means to me that this works out. And it's not because I can't be alone, it's because I love her, more than anything. Of course there is that fear of the pain of it being over, and of trying to move on, but I don't think that will happen, so instead, the fear is that things will get worse, to a point where it takes too much to heal things broken, and it will be unrepairable. I don't ever want that. I realized that I don't pay as much attention to her anymore. That our relationship has gone from new to just growing, and I have to keep that spark for her, make her feel like I still care. How will she know that I still care about her if I don't express it? She won't know...thats why I have to remember how it used to be. Think about those days last year when we would talk for hours on end, kiss for what seemed like forever, and just laugh together. I have to not forget that she is a person, she has needs and she needs to be loved by me. Of course I love her, but like they say...more than words right? So, there is no doubt in my mind that my habits will be changing. I may be a little bit exhausted and stressed right now, but I can't let something like that get in the way of how I treat the love of my life....so I won't let it get in the way, I'll keep it seperate...keep my own personal problems and complaints in another world, save them for a seperate conversation...then things will mend. Sorry, this turned into a diary entry rather than a daily synopsis, but oh well. Point is...I love you C, more than anything, and this will work, maybe we have to try a little harder when times get rough, but in the end, it will be worth it. To me, you are worth this...to me, you are worth doing anything. I'll be there for you day and night...for the rest of my life, because you are the one for me. You are my shining star and my other half/best friend. I can't live without you. Have a wonderful two day seperation from me...and I'll see you soon.